Revenge of the Fez

On this day, 89 years ago, a surging Turkish army and mobs of Turkish citizens drove out the occupying Greek nation from Izmir. "The day we taught the Greeks to swim" I've heard uttered jokingly, referring to the way they were, allegedly, pushed into the gloomy waters of Izmir Bay.

Reports say that during the initial invasion by the Greek military, "the [Turkish locals] are forced to tear the fezes from their heads and trample them underfoot". In return, during the war of independence, anyone wearing a hat other than a fez was forced to go for a swim.

All rather confused considering the Fez apparently originates from the Greek islands of the Aegean. Even Ataturk himself referred to it as "the head-covering of Greeks" before outlawing it.

Anyway, tonight there will be fireworks along Kordon (the bar-lined promenade central to Izmir's social scene). A boat with the words "Happy 9th September" will crawl up and down the bay. It's also the time of the great Izmir Fair (think The Ideal Home Exhibition but with more gypos and mosquitoes).

In other news, I moved job, moved house, went on 4 holidays, grew 2 moustaches, 1 massive beard, attended 1 funeral, 0 weddings and haven't written anything on this blog for close to 3 months. For that, I apologise. Thank you to Burak for the kind email that gave me a kick up the arse needed to write something.

Also, a massive thank you to Danny for the iPhone which should help me to take snapshots and post them directly whenever and wherever. Thank you for Peter for jumping on Danny and asking him to give me the iPhone. Thank you to O2 for unlocking it for a mere £15 (gypo cunts).

Thank you to Turkish Telecom, in advance, for shutting my iPhone down in a few weeks until I can have it registered on my passport, which I can't do until the visas come through, which I can't do until the Ministry of Education decides I'm still OK to teach English. Thank you to Turkcell for stealing two of my lunch breaks while I waited to speak to some miserable moron who had no fucking clue about the necessary procedure for registering a foreign mobile yet spoke with unwavering authority.

Until next time...

Every little helps!

I have always been a massive fan of supermarket shopping (something for the memoirs). Imagine my joy when Tesco (under the brand 'Kipa') became one of the biggest chains here in Turkey.

It's great. I can find brown sauce and 'Value' toilet paper just down the road in Balcova like I could back home in Kingston.

Sometimes, though, Kipa will come up with something subtle that'll make me realise I'm not in Kansas anymore.

Here's a recent promotion that made me do a double-take. Actually, it made me double-take, pick up the flyer, take it home, install a scanner, scan it in and post it up here. You can all thank me later.



Yes, it's a Tesco "Back to the Army" promotion. Full kit bag for 99 Lira. It includes:

• 1 x Rucksack
• 3 x T-Shirts
• 3 x Socks
• 3 x Underpants
• 1 x Soap bag (empty)
• 1 x Bath towel
• 1 x Hand towel
• 1 x Soap dish
• 1 x Dirty/Clean laundry bags
• 1 x Laundry net
• 1 x Coat hanger
• 1 x Sewing set
• 1 x Boot polishing kit
• 1 x Bathroom slippers
• 1 x Toothbrush
• 1 x Nail clippers
• 1 x Foot powder
• 1 x Insoles
• 1 x Wallet
• 1 x Padlock
• 1 x Pocket torch

You've got to just love it. Now, if this promotion ran in Kingston, the store would sell out of flour, sugar and canned meat within minutes.