Random Turkish Fact #13

Nobody knows how old they are.

If you ask someone their age in Turkey, you'll rarely get an answer that doesn't require further explanation. The question "how old are you?" will provoke one or all of the following responses:

1. "I was born in 1960" - leaving you to do the maths.
2. "I've finished 40 and entering 41" - ...so how old are you?
3. "I was born on 5 November but registered on the 5 December" - Sorry, what?

Because of this confusion, Turks speak in birth years - "he's a '73 boy". Though, this still wont indicate the exact age as it doesn't indicate birth month.

I was just sitting at lunch with children who were born in 2000 (yes, I gagged a little too) and they were trying to work out how old they were. 2010 minus 2000 and still sitting there counting on my fingers.

FYI Turkish friends, in the UK we talk about age in terms of completed years. eg a child is considered 1 after it completes its first year on Earth; it's not born aged 1. I, for example, am coming to the end of my 35th year. But, I still say I'm 34 because that's the number of years I've lived. Mind you, can I say I've really lived all those years? Regrets? I think that's for life to decide in time. But I've always smiled from the heart and that's what really counts. I remember my first teacher back in Tolworth Infants................

Random Turkish Fact #12

Turkish kitchen roll has perforations at twice the interval of the British. Meaning you can tear off a 'half sheet'. Tight, shrewd or just mental, you decide.

Random Turkish Fact #11

The Turkish word for 'rat' is 'sıçan' which translates to 'the one that shits'.

Random Turkish Fact #10

The Turks don't have a word for 'boy'. There is a word for 'girl' but Turkish males pass directly from 'babies' to 'men'.

Random Turkish Fact #9

Whereas Brits use surnames in formal situations (i.e. 'Mr. Holmes'), Turks use forenames (i.e. 'John Bey' meaning 'Mr. John'). Bonkers.

Random Turkish Fact #8

50% of Turkish women give birth by Caesarian section.

When asked why this figure should be so high, most people suggested 'convenience' as the probable explanation. The doctor can have a bed ready, the parents can put the date in their diaries and the friends and family can order the flowers.

The World Health Organisation suggests 15% of all births should be c-section. In 2008, the UK reached 25%.

Random Turkish Fact #7

In complete reverse to the UK, Turks use a comma to indicate a decimal point and a point to indicate thousands. For example:

UK = 2,000.00
Turkey = 2.000,00

It's a fucked up world, my friends.

Random Turkish Fact #6

Picture the scene... you're in a shop (any shop) with a lady friend (the relationship to you is not important). She asks the salesman a question about a product. 99.99% of the time, the salesman will direct his reply to you, as the man, without even a glance at the woman.

What's the reason for this? To be honest, I'm not really sure. Perhaps it's an assumption that the small brained woman won't comprehend his answer.

More likely, it's an attempt to avoid an "Oi! Why are you talking to my missus/mother/aunt/daughter, you fucking rapist?!" misunderstanding.

Still, it makes me laugh. Especially when I'm given an answer to a question about slingbacks that I have absolutely no chance (or inclination) of understanding.

Beware though, that 0.01% of the time can be taxing. In a shop yesterday, the salesman complemented my girlfriends shorts. Not wanting to appear a stranger to the culture, I smiled, took a deep breath and torched the place... fucking rapist.

Random Turkish Fact #5

Turks believe it's a sin to throw away bread.

Not a light-hearted Petshop Boys sin, but a serious sin worthy of celestial punishment. For this reason, you'll often see plastic bags of stale bread hanging next to rubbish bins.

Perhaps they're hoping someone will make use of it (though I'm not sure what your guests will say when you tell them you made the bread pudding out of stale bread found in a carrier next to the skip). Or perhaps they're deferring the punishment to someone else (after all, someone's eventually going to have to bin it). Thus it's probable that all Turkish dustmen are going to hell.

Random Turkish Fact #4

Turks consider it rude to blow your nose in company. They will take themselves off to a secluded spot to clear their trunks. A good old British raspberry into a hankerchief at the dinner table is met with glares of disdain. Be warned.

Random Turkish Fact #3

Turks keep a stool in the bath (no, I don't mean anything sinister). Apparently it's so they can sit down while they shower. Majestic laziness.