I'm still a child at heart...

Oh I do amuse myself while the kids are listening to the story. This nugget of gold is from The Adventures of Tom Sawyer.

I am but a child at heart...

...and that's why things like this make me laugh when the kids are doing a listening exercise.

Children are still saying the funniest things ...though I'm getting bored of marking exams now

More joy from the exam pages:

Q: Who are you going to go shopping with?
A: I'm going with Chuck Norris LOL! (LOL=HAHA)

Thank God he translated LOL for me. This student keeps asking whether he can write his compositions in 'Textese' eg LOL, B4, UR etc. I say no.

Q: What's wrong with you?
A: My parents.

How do I mark that? He's either completely misunderstood or it's a very shrewd Larkin reference.

Q: What's wrong with you?
A: Some people polluted the sea.

Right you are. Hope you feel better soon.

Children say the funniest things

I've just been marking the 6th grade exams. One section was an open dialogue giving the students a chance to write anything sensible in response to a question. Here's a response that made me put down my marking pen and say a few words of thanks to God. Please remember, this is a 10 year old Turkish student.

Question 1
Q: Where are you going this weekend?
A: I'm going to the supermarket.

Nice answer.

Question 2
Q: What's wrong with you?
A: I have a problem with my bowel.

Sorry, what? If I could give her more than 100%, I would. That answer alone should automatically grant her a Cambridge scholarship.

Ask about Holes

I was writing a 'body parts' quiz for the kids at school and I thought I'd try a couple of questions out on my girlfriend's mum.

Me: "We have eight of these on our body. What are they?"

GFM: "Hmmmmm. Holes! Yes, holes... Two in the nose. Ears, three and four. Mouth, five. Hmmmm. Belly button, six..."

Me: "Fingers!! It's fingers".

Fitty Cent

Turkey's version of 'Deal or No Deal' is massive. Possibly the most watched show on TV at the moment.

Recently, they've taken to bringing on international celebrity contestants. A couple of weeks ago Christina Aqualung was the star (can you imagine this on the UK version? Noel would be happier than a cat with a chocolate flavoured nipsy). Then last week, it was... wait for it ...50 Cent. Bonkers.

Well, given all the hype, the kids were bound to be excited. I walked into my first lesson of the day and a 9 year old student asked "Mr.Hasirci, have you heard of 50 Cent?". Wanting to keep hip with the kids I replied "who? Me? Yeah, of course I have!", followed by a 2 second misguided bout of body popping.

The kid looked at me bemused and, completely seriously, replied... "no, not 'spastic'. I said '50 Cent'". He'll go far.