Sunday 25 May 2008

Arse About Fez Facebook Group

To mark my 2 year anniversary of my arrival in Turkey, I've opened a Facebook group. Feel free to chat, post videos, pictures, links and generally spam each other.

I've been racking my brains trying to think of an appropriate way to declare the group open. In the UK, we might get a celebrity to cut a ribbon and say a few words. I contemplated smashing a bottle of champagne over my monitor. But, ultimately, this is Turkey and I need to follow the local customs.

Traditionally, the start of a new venture is celebrated with the sacrifice of a sheep and allowing the blood to flow over the entrance of the premises. The problem is, I'm a vegetarian and chopping a carrot on the porch doesn't really have the appropriate level of grandeur.

So, instead, I'm going to sacrifice by proxy and hand the proceedings over to the wonderful staff of Istanbul airport who felt a sheep just didn't cut it:

"Turkish Airlines took swift disciplinary action Wednesday after it emerged that members of its technical staff had sacrificed a camel to celebrate getting their job done.

Maintenance workers all pitched in to buy the beast to mark the long-awaited dispatch to Britain of the last of 11 RJ100 aircraft which Turkish decided to leave out of its fleet due to a series of accidents involving the planes.

The camel was sacrificed Tuesday at Istanbul's Ataturk airport and about 1,540 pounds of meat was distributed among the staff.

The event surfaced when several newspapers ran the story along with photographs of the camel being led into the airport grounds and of workers holding up bloody pieces of meat after the sacrifice." USA Today

So without further ado (or blood loss) I pronounce the Arse About Fez Facebook Group open.

Fezaurus #2

Esegi amina su kacirdin - You let water leak into the donkey's fanny.

I'm not so clear on the origins of this particular phrase. Some say, matter of factly, that when villagers fuck a donkey, they stand it in the river so it wont run away. Makes sense.

Whatever the roots, I doubt you'll guess the meaning.

I once bought 500g of freshly ground Turkish coffee from Izmir. Seeing the packet on my kitchen table, my cousin insisted that I'd let water leak into the donkey's fanny. Having never been accused of this before I was, needless to say, somewhat confused.

It means 'to go over the top' or 'do something extreme'. He was trying to tell me that I'd bought too much coffee, but there are easier ways.

"What's the connection?" I asked.
"Well, putting water in a donkey's fanny is an extreme thing to do" he replied. I couldn't argue.